Every Thought Has a Reason.

I wait – in watch – for your presence…

I realize…

I realize that – between the few breaths I can force through my lungs – I have thoughts.

As I drove – even as I type – I try to laugh. It should be funny right?

These thoughts don’t belong… their presence should humor me.

Pehaps I would find humor in their false foundations; or, perhaps I am wrong.

Every thought has a reason – no matter how absurd.

Still waiting for you…

The irony is that God knows I’m not able to actually say the words.

A black cursor teases me as I wait for a sign of your presence.

Still…

I wish there were more words to say. Perhaps there are; but I realize that I could never find a way to publish them here.

I feel horrible about this – realizing in full that you might not believe me.

Still, I Do.

It seems that my selfishness has the capacity to change the one thing I most love in this world.

Again – in what few breaths I can coerce – I attempt to laugh.

I can’t laugh at this.

…and that is disheartening; because for the first time in a long time, it isn’t ‘All Good’.

Perhaps that is only how it seems.

Regardless…